The Dark Side of Airbnb for Female Travelers

We are a group of backpackers who have stayed in many Airbnbs. In all our stays, we had pleasant and safe experiences apart from our most recent stay which was awful beyond words. Our stay at an Airbnb in Kalpakkam opened our eyes to the dark side of Airbnb and safety.

We had to encounter probably one of the most horrible experiences of our lives by staying at this place. We encountered a host who abused, insulted and shouted at us. It’s only now that I am reading the reviews of this property and I can see the abuses hurled at by the host even while answering. It was a grave mistake that we did not really read the reviews properly while booking.

On January 3rd, we had a long, tiresome journey from Pondicherry to reach this place at Kalpakkam, near Mahabalipuram. When we came to this Airbnb we were quite upset to see that the beach beside the property was littered with garbage and local people in the area openly defecating in the beachfront. In addition, the rooms were not really tidy. The air conditioning in one room did not cool properly and the toilet in one bathroom had no flush. To be fair it is mentioned in the property description that the flush was broken and would be fixed after January 2nd (we arrived at the property on the 3rd and we had booked this place two months in advance).

After we arrived, we called the host to inform him out of courtesy that we had arrived and we were facing some issues regarding the AC and also mentioned that the flush was broken (yes, it is mentioned in the property listing but it also says that it would be resolved on the 2nd). There was no confrontation from our part and we casually happened to speak with the host about the issue. Immediately the host got furious and asked us to cancel the reservation.

The property is in the middle of nowhere and we had girls in the group. Obviously we couldn’t cancel and find alternative accommodations when it was already dusk. Within ten minutes or so, the host turned up with his mother at the place and started shouting and abusing the girls. We were unable to comprehend why would a normal person behave this way, unless the person is not really sane.

Apparently the host was quite upset because he has “sentiments attached with his home” and that we dared to complain about. However what remains inexplicable is the reason the host would shout at us, abuse us, and ask us to cancel the reservation when it was quite apparent that the location is remote, there are several girls in the group, and it was almost dark.

The host used insulting statements like “Why [would] Airbnb send such characters?”, “Get out of my house”, and “Who are you?” When we said we were not going to leave without talking to Airbnb, he shouted “Airbnb is nobody. This is my property – Airbnb cannot stop me” again and again.

This entire experience made us feel utterly unsafe and stressed. The most unfortunate thing is the fact that our female friends had to suffer such abuse. In a civilized society, no gentlemen would ever assault women, but this vile creature of poor manners is not man enough for civility.

One of our members had a nervous breakdown because of this episode. We are not used to abuse and altercations and we have unfortunately not taken any lessons on how to handle an adult who would bully and shout at you for no apparent reason.

Furthermore, the host said that he only wants “local people” to stay at his place. Apparently we are neither Tamil nor South Indians; he was implying that he does not want people from other parts of India. This was most insulting, humiliating and the highest form of discriminatory abuse. We were so stressed and traumatized that we could not sleep that night.

Apart from such an awful host, there was a group of boisterous local guys in the next house in the same property (probably belonging to the same owner). They were making catcalls, hooting and flashing lights at the girls of our group. It was an isolated place and naturally we were terrified for safety reasons.

To sum up, our New Year party trip was ruined by an unmannerly and unstable host who abused us and we had to endure these insults since we were trapped because of the location. I was constantly reminded of this quote by Gandhi throughout the frightening encounter: “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” But alas, since I am no Gandhi I cannot forgive or forget this horrible episode.

Though we had booked this miserably grotesque place for two nights we left the next day in the morning as apparently we had an appalling stay and felt extremely unsafe and violated. This property is in the filthiest of places with an evil-mouthed, pathologically-egocentric and abusive host.

Airbnb has been requested multiple times to delist this property for the safety of guests. I am waiting for Airbnb to take appropriate actions. We managed to take a small video of the episode. Since we were not smart enough to take the video initially we missed the most insulting parts. But still, this video will give you an idea on how unsafe Airbnb is, especially for women.

Airbnb: Pathetic Service and Fraudulent Hosts

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It’s very painful to think that I booked this Airbnb after reading what services we can get here. Kitchen service was not there as it was written but I thought there must have been at least basic amenities like a kettle, milk pouches, tea bags, etc. I checked in at 12:00 PM but the caretaker was not present; he said he would come in the evening at 6:00 PM.

When he came, he provided me a fridge which was so dirty and unhygienic. Upon asking about basic amenities like a lawn chair and table to sit outside the host rudely said he couldn’t provide anything as this hotel was about to shut down.

My first day’s stay was gone to waste due to the caretaker and basic amenities being unavailable. We could not go anywhere else because this was a hill station and after 8:00 PM we couldn’t go for food outside. If I wanted to cook in the kitchen there were nothing like a pressure cooker, etc. What could we eat in just a pan and bowl?

I don’t want stay here tomorrow and today’s stay was forced on us. I’m requesting a full refund from Airbnb because my holidays are ruined now and I am going back to Delhi again tomorrow morning.

Host Attempted to Kiss Me Despite My Refusal

I had reached the apartment the afternoon of February 27th, 2019. I had to drag my suitcase up all the way to the third floor having to ask 2-3 people on the way if it was in fact the “F building” as there was hardly any way for newcomers to be able to check if they’re entering the correct building despite the host sending me pictures of the entrance before. The picture doesn’t really help when you’re in the actual situation looking for the entrance.

I had also asked the host in advance – since there was no elevator – if could I pay security to get my suitcase for me. The host seemed really worried about getting in trouble and about how nobody is supposed to know he hosts guests through Airbnb. His secretly hosting guests without having the rest of the residents on board caused me an enormous amount of inconvenience, especially in a building without a lift.

There were security concerns, like the key being left on top of the door so that the host didn’t have to be there to receive anyone. The key was accessible to everyone, though if the host continues to keep it there I am assuming nothing must have happened until now. I didn’t really like that it meant even the maid had access to come in anytime; I needed to know if my own stuff was safe if I decided to leave it behind. Luckily the maid had come by the time I got ready to go out around 3:00 or 4:00 PM and had been asked to not go into my room. She agreed.

There was wifi, hot water in the bathroom, and sufficient space in the guest’s room. What was missing was a proper bed instead of a mattress, a chair, and a table so there was some place for people to relax and to keep their stuff. Not everything can be done lying down or sitting on a mattress at such a low level.

I came back around 10:00 PM and the host returned about an hour later, knocking on the door. I replied and he opened the door and asked if everything was okay several times, so often that I got tired of answering. Then I mistook a bottle of water for alcohol and he said “Why would I keep alcohol just lying around when I have a bar in my cupboard?”

I didn’t know what to answer to that. He asked if I wanted to see it so I just said okay. He asked if I wanted something after revealing his collection to me. I said, “Okay, if it’s okay with you.”

He asked what does that mean and I said, “It’s your alcohol so…”

He said, “Yes, you can have some.”

I know how expensive alcohol can be so I didn’t know if it was okay to ask for some from someone living in a tiny two-bedroom apartment with minimal furniture renting one of the rooms to Airbnb guests. But he seemed more than enthusiastic to show off his Honey Jack Daniels talking about how expensive it is, how he buys them from Abu Dhabi, and how he really wanted me to feel the “luxury” of this drink with every sip.

Then he offered me Old Monk and started talking about the brand and some of the facts. It was so plain and boring. On top of that he asked me to go bottoms up which I couldn’t do because I found it absolutely tasteless and disgusting. However, he insisted and I just finished it in 2-3 sips since very little of it was left. I had no more interest in this intellectual alcohol discussion torture.

He said he would give me the Jack Daniels one now since I liked it better and I said that was enough for now. He asked if I don’t drink often and I confirmed that I don’t. Then the topic of cigarettes came up and he asked if I smoked. I said, “No,” and he asked why. When I said it was for health reasons he started making counterarguments that it’s not as bad as people say it is.

He lit up a cigarette and asked if I wanted to try it. With every drag he took he asked me to try it or made counterarguments about why it’s not that unhealthy or how one cigarette won’t convert me into an addict. None of it really mattered because I had said “no” to every offer and he was trying to lower my inhibitions.

Then he asked me if none of my friends smoke. Some do and some don’t, though I did not want him to try to convince me to smoke anymore. I just said “no” and then he asked the same thing about my boyfriend. I hesitated because I did not have a boyfriend but I did not want to tell him that as I had started to feel scared after he asked this question. After hesitating for a few seconds, I just shook my head to say no.

He asked me again “He doesn’t smoke?” (recognizing my hesitation) and I shook my head to say no again. A few seconds later he asked me what my boyfriend does for work. At that point I confronted him about him wanting to seduce me. He looked at me dumbfounded, asking me why would he want to seduce me in a really slow and soft tone, without breaking eye contact, repeatedly. I asked him if I could just go and sleep in my room. He said “okay” in the same tone, without breaking eye contact like before. I got and left.

He asked me if I had had dinner when I was near the door. While I was answering, he came closer to the entrance of my room and asked if I have everything I need, like water, etc. He was going to enter my room to “check if I have everything” but I was holding the door towards me and my arm was between him and the room. He changed the topic and went back to asking why would I think he would seduce me in that same manner as before. Then he said “I thought we could kiss.”

I said “I don’t want to.”

A few seconds later after some beating around the bush he asked “Do you want to kiss me? Can we kiss?”

I said, “No.”

He asked, “Why?” and I didn’t know what to say. I just looked away and smiled a little because of my nervousness.

Then I looked at him and he was walking towards me with his arms in the air like he was walking towards a lover or something. I freaked out, brought my arms between us, and pleaded with him to not rape me. He was a little shocked and asked me why would he rape me, and if I was crazy. I said, “Let’s just forget this and go to sleep.”

He said “okay” and I locked the door.

Within an hour, I had packed up everything, called a dormitory hotel and asked them if they had a bed available, that I was trying to escape a dangerous situation so they should write down the address just in case. I even messaged my friend to message me back in ten minutes to ask me what was going on.

I was really grateful to the dormitory hotel who did a really good job of checking on me by calling me twice after I had called and even messaging me a fourth time. They were all expecting me and took my luggage without asking any questions.

They quickly got my check in done and escorted me to my bed, put my suitcase in the storage under the bed and handed me the keys after which I was lying on my bed, and ensured my friend that everything was fine. I had my heart rate go up when everything was over, as it was starting to dawn on me what had just happened. I finally fell asleep and woke up later than I had planned to.

Airbnb refunded the money next morning though they did not give me any confirmation on what they’ll be doing with the host’s account even though I have asked them to ban him. They said they take these issues very seriously and that they will be investigating this issue.

The listing currently seems to be gone but his profile is still there. Here is his Airbnb profile. His Airbnb address is in Sameer Housing Society, Versova, Andheri West. I really hope Airbnb doesn’t let sexual predators have profiles on their website. They’re also not publishing my review of him so future female travelers can’t know about what he did, which I think is a really unethical thing for Airbnb to do.

At least his listing is not available anymore but since his profile is still there who knows? Maybe they’ll bring back his listing hoping I’ll forget about it.

Host Forgets About an Advance Booking, Denies Refund

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I booked a place in Delhi around December 22nd, 2016 (our trip to the Himalayas started on December 24th). I made a booking for the night of December 31st at a place whose host was called Kshitij (the listing was “cozy room for three”). He had amazing reviews on Airbnb, and before our trip we had a brief chat in which I told him about the flight details and the place to which we were traveling. The Himalayas have yet to receive reliable wifi service and as we were a little distracted by the beauty of the place, we didn’t check our phones (our mistake, I agree). We reached Delhi on December 31st at 5:00 AM and from that time I tried to reach Kshitij over Airbnb messages, considering Airbnb sends an email or text for each Airbnb message. We waited for him to wake up, have his breakfast, and so on and so forth. By 12:00 PM I got hold of his number and called him to find out he had completely forgotten about the booking and was not in Delhi. We paid him 15 days prior and he forgot; I was sure he had used the money by then already.

Anyway, he helped us to find a hotel near his place which straight away said no to an ‘unmarried couple’ (yes, we’re Indian and not married). We had to pay double our booking charges with Kshitij to find a room for the night. Since then, I have been contacting Kshitij through calls, messages, WhatsApp and Airbnb texts; he hasn’t responded properly. He also said he has started the refund, however I haven’t received anything. I called him again on March 1st, and eventually after an argument he disconnected the phone, and sent me a text: “This is the number for Airbnb. Please call them and share all your grievances from the last three months.” I am shocked to know how these people are exploiting guests in the name of a big organization like Airbnb. On the other hand, Airbnb has no support system or help available for anyone using services from Airbnb. I have attached our conversation screenshots in case you want to browse through them.